These Advice from A Parent That Rescued Us during my time as a Brand-New Parent

"I believe I was merely just surviving for a year."

Former Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey anticipated to manage the challenges of fatherhood.

However the truth rapidly became "very different" to what he pictured.

Serious health complications during the birth caused his partner Louise admitted to hospital. All of a sudden he was thrust into becoming her chief support in addition to taking care of their newborn son Leo.

"I handled all the nights, every change… every stroll. The role of both parents," Ryan shared.

After 11 months he reached burnout. It was a talk with his parent, on a public seat, that helped him see he couldn't do it alone.

The straightforward statement "You are not in a good spot. You must get support. What can I do to help you?" created an opening for Ryan to speak honestly, seek support and regain his footing.

His story is not uncommon, but seldom highlighted. While people is now more accustomed to discussing the strain on mums and about postpartum depression, not enough is spoken about the struggles new fathers go through.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to seek assistance

Ryan feels his difficulties are symptomatic of a broader failure to communicate amongst men, who still absorb harmful notions of manhood.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the rock that just gets smashed and doesn't fall time and again."

"It's not a sign of failure to request help. I was too slow to do that fast enough," he explains.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a expert focusing on mental health surrounding childbirth, notes men can be reluctant to acknowledge they're finding things difficult.

They can think they are "not the right person to be asking for help" - particularly in preference to a mum and baby - but she stresses their mental well-being is vitally important to the unit.

Ryan's conversation with his dad provided him with the space to ask for a respite - going on a few days overseas, away from the family home, to get a fresh outlook.

He came to see he had to make a adjustment to focus on his and his partner's feelings as well as the practical tasks of taking care of a new baby.

When he was honest with Louise, he saw he'd missed "what she needed" -reassuring touch and paying attention to her words.

Reparenting yourself'

That realisation has transformed how Ryan views parenthood.

He's now writing Leo regular notes about his feelings as a dad, which he aspires his son will see as he grows up.

Ryan thinks these will enable his son better understand the expression of emotion and make sense of his parenting choices.

The concept of "self-parenting" is something artist Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

When he was young Stephen lacked reliable male guidance. Even with having an "amazing" connection with his dad, deep-held difficult experiences resulted in his father found it hard to cope and was "in and out" of his life, complicating their relationship.

Stephen says repressing emotions led him to make "bad decisions" when in his youth to alter how he was feeling, finding solace in substance use as an escape from the pain.

"You gravitate to behaviours that don't help," he explains. "They might short-term modify how you are feeling, but they will ultimately make things worse."

Tips for Coping as a First-Time Parent

• Share with someone - when you are under pressure, speak to a friend, your other half or a professional about your state of mind. Doing so may to ease the pressure and make you feel more supported.
• Keep up your interests - make time for the things that helped you to feel like you before the baby arrived. This might be going for a run, socialising or a favourite hobby.
• Don't ignore the body - nutritious food, physical activity and where possible, resting, all are important in how your mental state is coping.
• Connect with other first-time fathers - sharing their experiences, the messy ones, along with the positive moments, can help to put into perspective how you're experiencing things.
• Remember that requesting help is not failure - taking care of you is the best way you can look after your loved ones.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen naturally found it hard to accept the passing, having been out of touch with him for a long time.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's committed not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his own son and instead offer the stability and nurturing he lacked.

When his son starts to have a outburst, for example, they try "shaking it out" together - expressing the feelings in a healthy way.

Each of Ryan and Stephen say they have become more balanced, healthier men due to the fact that they acknowledged their issues, transformed how they communicate, and figured out how to control themselves for their sons.

"I'm better… processing things and managing things," states Stephen.

"I wrote that in a letter to Leo the other week," Ryan says. "I wrote, on occasion I feel like my purpose is to teach and advise you how to behave, but the truth is, it's a exchange. I am discovering an equal amount as you are through this experience."